Burdens Lifted

I've been reading in Mosiah 24 this week, where the people of Alma are being persecuted by Amulon and his men. 

Several scriptures have really jumped out at me:

• v. 12: When Alma and his people weren't allowed to pray out loud, they "pour[ed] out their hearts to him; and he did know the thoughts of their hearts."  One note I wrote in the margin of my scriptures was that "He knows the thoughts of my heart--many of which I can't put into words."  All those subconscious struggles, all my good intentions, and all my deep desires to overcome my weaknesses are known by the Lord, who loves me in spite of my imperfections.
•  v. 13: "I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me."  I love reading this reminder because I have made many, many covenants with God throughout my life, and God, who has all power and knowledge, knows these things.  He remembers the covenants, and He honors them.
• v. 14: "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs."  This is perhaps one of my favorite scriptures ever.  The Lord wants us to stand as witnesses of Him, so He performs miracles on our behalf.  Right now, I have some pretty heavy burdens on my shoulders, but I've been absolutely amazed lately at how well I'm able to sleep, how few "stress indicators" I'm showing, and how my husband, family members, friends, and others have stepped forward to ease my burdenrs.  Eric has been SO patient lately--he is seriously nothing but kind and loving and good to all of us, all the time.  Not that he hasn't been wonderful ever since I've known him, but he's "wonderful-er."  Our Power of Moms board members have been stepping forward to take on pretty heavy responsibilities with this site transfer, my sister took my children for the night so Eric and I could go away last weekend, my mom came out for a full day and watched my children so I could work, and my neighbors have been reaching out to help me with so many of the little things I need to do.  It's interesting that sometimes the Lord eases our burdens by sending angels (friends and family) to help, and sometimes He simply makes us stronger.  I've felt both.
• v.15: "The Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."  I have the privilege to be cheerful and patient.  That's a choice.  My friend Kristine sent me a great link to an article about anger yesterday (click here).  Anger is a choice.  It doesn't "happen to us."  As I choose to be patient with myself, my children, and life in general, the Lord continues to help me bear up my burdens with ease.  But it's more than just being patient.  It's smiling.  It's feeling His love so deeply that I can be truly happy.  I can sing in the kitchen, laugh with my family, hug my friends, see everything with an optimistic spin. Richard G. Scott in October's General Conference (2010) spoke about our lives becoming a "symphony" as our faith in Christ increases.  I'm finally starting to grasp that concept.
• Here's where I'll end today--with verse 16: "So great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them . . ."  Trusting in Him and waiting on Him isn't weakness.  It sets the stage for Him to come to us with His voice.  When I hear His voice speak to me--many times through feelings, occasionally through very specific, sacred words I actually hear in my head, I want to do anything I possibly can to hear it more and more.  A couple of months ago, I received some very beautiful counsel from the Lord during my scripture study.  It isn't something I can write down or even speak about, but the feelings of love and goodness and warmth and peace and power I felt when I received that message is what I long for each and every day.  That's why I go to the scriptures deliberately every morning.  That's why I exercise every ounce of will power I have to keep my temper in check.  And that's why I am trying so, so hard to live a life worth of Him.

Alia's home sick from school, and Spencer needs lunch, so I will run now, but I wanted to record these thoughts and pour out my thanks to God because he has been merciful unto me and eased my burdens (v.21).

Becoming Women of Greater Faith

I just read this talk by Patricia Holland yesterday, and it has inspired me beyond explanation.

This paragraph, in particular, was absolutely beautiful:

We must have the courage to be imperfect while striving for perfection. We must not allow our own guilt, the feminist books, the talk-show hosts, or the whole media culture to sell us a bill of goods—or rather a bill of no goods. We can become so sidetracked in our compulsive search for identity and self-esteem that we really believe it can be found in having perfect figures or academic degrees or professional status or even absolute motherly success. Yet, in so searching externally, we can be torn from our true internal, eternal selves. We often worry so much about pleasing and performing for others that we lose our uniqueness—that full and relaxed acceptance of one’s self as a person of worth and individuality. We become so frightened and insecure that we cannot be generous toward the diversity and individuality, and yes, problems, of our neighbors. Too many women with these anxieties watch helplessly as their lives unravel from the very core that centers and sustains them. Too many are like a ship at sea without sail or rudder, “tossed to and fro,” as the Apostle Paul said (see Eph. 4:14), until more and more of us are genuinely, rail-grabbingly seasick.

 I also love how she described the Kingdom of God as being within us--and how we can unlock it with a series of five keys:


For me, prayer is the key to the first box. We kneel to ask help for our tasks and then arise to find that the first lock is now open. But this ought not to seem just a convenient and contrived miracle, for if we are to search for real light and eternal certainties, we have to pray as the ancients prayed. We are women now, not children, and we are expected to pray with maturity. The words most often used to describe urgent, prayerful labor are wrestle, plead, cry, and hunger. In some sense, prayer may be the hardest work we ever will engage in, and perhaps it should be. It is pivotal protection against becoming so involved with worldly possessions and honors and status that we no longer desire to undertake the search for our soul.

For those who, like Enos, pray in faith and gain entrance to a new dimension of their potential divinity, they are led to box number two. Here our prayers alone do not seem to be sufficient. We must turn to the scriptures for God’s long-recorded teachings about our souls. We must learn. Surely every woman in this church is under divine obligation to learn and grow and develop. We are God’s diverse array of unburnished talents, and we must not bury these gifts or hide our light. If the glory of God is intelligence, then learning, especially learning from the scriptures, stretches us toward him.

He uses many metaphors for divine influence, such as “living water” and “the bread of life.” I have discovered that if my own progress stalls, it stalls from malnutrition born of not eating and drinking daily from his holy writ. There have been challenges in my life that would have completely destroyed me had I not had the scriptures both on my bedstand and in my purse so that I could partake of them day and night at a moment’s notice. Meeting God in scripture has been like a divine intravenous feeding for me—a celestial IV that my son once described as an angelical cord. So box two is opened through learning from the scriptures. I have discovered that by studying them I can have, again and again, an exhilarating encounter with God.

However, at the beginning of such success in emancipating the soul, Lucifer becomes more anxious, especially as we approach box number three. He knows that we are about to learn one very important and fundamental principle—that to truly find ourselves we must lose ourselves—so he begins to block our increased efforts to love God, our neighbor, and ourselves. Through the last decade, Satan has enticed all humanity to engage almost all of their energies in the pursuit of romantic love or thing-love or excessive self-love. In so doing, we forget that appropriate self-love and self-esteem are the promised reward for putting others first. “Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.” (Luke 17:33.) Box three opens only to the key of charity.

With charity, real growth and genuine insight begin. But the lid to box four seems nearly impossible to penetrate. Unfortunately, the faint-hearted and fearful often turn back here. The going seems too difficult, the lock too secure. This is a time for self-evaluation. To see ourselves as we really are often brings pain, but it is only through true humility, repentance, and renewal that we will come to know God. “Learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart,” he said. (Matt. 11:29.) We must be patient with ourselves as we overcome weaknesses, and we must remember to rejoice over all that is good in us. This will strengthen our inner selves and leave us less dependent on outward acclaim. When our souls pay less attention to public praise, they then also care very little about public disapproval. Competition and jealousy and envy now begin to have no meaning. Just imagine the powerful spirit that would exist in our female society if we finally arrived at the point where, like our Savior, our real desire was to be counted as the least among our sisters. The rewards here are of such profound strength and quiet triumph of faith that we are carried into an even brighter sphere. So the fourth box, unlike the others, is broken open, just as a contrite heart is broken. We are reborn—like a flower growing and blooming out of the broken crust of the earth.

To share with you my feelings of opening the fifth box, I must compare the beauty of our souls with the holiness of our temples. There, in a setting not of this world, where fashions and position and professions go unrecognized, we have our chance to find peace and serenity and stillness that will anchor our soul forever, for there we may find God. For those of us who, like the brother of Jared, have the courage and faith to break through the veil into that sacred center of existence (see Ether 3:6–19), we will find the brightness of the final box brighter than the noonday sun. There we find wholeness—holiness. That is what it says over the entrance to the fifth box: Holiness to the Lord. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God?” (1 Cor. 3:16.) I testify that you are holy—that divinity is abiding within you waiting to be uncovered—to be unleashed and magnified and demonstrated.

My goal is to learn and grow and become the kind of woman who has an unshakable faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.  I feel so weak sometimes, but I know that as I continue to work and serve and study, the Lord will have mercy on me.  He is Wonderful.

To Become Like Him

In our church, we believe that we can become like our Father in Heaven.  This doesn't mean we think we can replace Him or we think that there will come a point when He will not be our God.  It means we consider ourselves to be His literal children, and just like my children can grow here on earth, we will be able to grow in this life and in the life to come.

In the Topical Guide of our scriptures, there is a topic called, "Man, Potential to Become Like Heavenly Father."  Here is what I learned today:

• The Lord has given us dominion over a few things on earth to help prepare us for an eternity of work. (Genesis 1:26)
• We are the offspring of God, heirs of the Father and joint-heirs with Christ (Acts 17:29, Romans 8:17)
• We need to learn to overcome the challenges here in this life, which will prepare us to dwell with God in the next life.  (Revelations 3:21)
• We are to be filled with joy in the process--and forever  (3 Nephi 28:10)
• The Lord wants us to have a beautiful, full life with Him forever (many scriptures on that link support this).

I have felt a little overwhelmed because of my responsibilities lately, but whenever I go to the scriptures, I feel the Lord tell me that the whole point is to prepare for what is to come after this life--greater responsibilities, greater blessings, and greater joy.  I don't need to get caught up in or frustrated with the details.  The only question I really need to ask is if my experiences are refining me to become more like Him.  That helps to put everything in perspective.