Patience

Tonight I'm recording a podcast about patience, so I thought I would focus my scripture study on that this morning.  Here's what I'm learning:

(1) "He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding" Proverbs 14:29.  As soon as I read that, I thought, "Well, isn't that the truth?"  Whenever I've been quick to get upset, it's usually because I didn't understand the reason the person was behaving in a particular way. 

One time I got really upset with Grace for shutting Ethan in the closet (she was 3 and he was 2).  After I finally calmed down, I talked with them and learned that Ethan had shut himself in the closet, and Grace was trying to help him out.  I felt terrible.

When I was in elementary school, I would often come home upset about what someone said or did to me in the playground.  My mom was very wise, and she would always sit me down and ask me to look at it from the other person's perspective.  "Maybe they're not getting enough love at home.  Or maybe they had a bad day or they're not feeling good about themselves.  When someone treats you unkindly, that's there SDB (self-defeating behavior)."

I grew up hearing "SDB" all the time.  We seriously had the above conversation at least 50 times, and what's happened is that now I use that same technique as a mother.  My child is being disrespectful?  Well, what's going on?  Is he/she tired? Feeling unloved? Feeling frustrated about something?  I've learned to look beyond the action and "consider the source."

(2) Patience is really about self-mastery.  The Topical Guide has a whole series of scriptures about this.  The one that stuck out to me was Proverbs 25:28 (loving those Proverbs today!) which talks about having "rule over [our] own spirit."

When we are patient with ourselves, with others, and with the Lord, we are showing that we have mastery over ourselves.   It's the exact same principle that applies to dieting or financial budgeting.  Can I control myself?

(3) Patience means we turn our lives over to God.  Matthew 16:24 tells us that we need to say, "not as I will, but as thou wilt."  I want to have a clean and tidy house with no runs in the carpet or chips in the paint.  I don't like crumbs on the kitchen floor or portions of cookies in our gallon of milk (because one child thought it would be fun to "dip" into the tiny little hole at the top and dropped the cookie and then couldn't get it out again).  However, God wants me to raise children and love them, and so I will put my dreams of a spotless house aside for now and focus on HIS will for my life.  I have to learn to get rid of all the selfishness that's naturally inside me.

(4) Patience requires faith.  Doctrine and Covenants 76:53 uses the phrase, "overcome by faith."  When I want to have more patience in my life, I simply increase my faith.  When my toddler screamed every three minutes and destroyed everything in his path, I had to say, "Heavenly Father, I know that all things can be overcome.  I know I will get through this time.  Please help me know how to teach my son and how to be patient with him."