Building a Great Marriage

As Eric and I have been talking about our goals for 2010 and about strengthening marriage in general, I thought it would be good to study the topic of marriage today. The Topical Guide has several different categories under marriage, so first I'm going to go through them and pick out the principles that I want to focus on today.

Marriage, Celestial:

Genesis 2:24 "...cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh."

The first book of scripture in the Old Testament lays the foundation for the rest of my study. When you marry, you become one with your spouse. You "leave" your parents and "cleave" to your eternal companion.

The next three scriptures are from the Old and New Testments, and they describe what we, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, believe about marriage for time and all eternity. In holy temples, couples can be sealed for eternity by men who hold the sealing power. They are given this power from the prophet or one of the apostles, and this power allows them to "bind on earth" and "bind in heaven."

Eccl. 3: 14
whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever.

Matt. 16: 19
(Matt. 18: 18) whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven.

Mark 10: 9
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Our goal is to marry a companion we want to be with for eternity, and then to have complete fidelity in that marriage. Clearly, there are times when divorce is necessary, but we do all we can to strengthen our marriages and build strong families.


One of my very favorite topics in the Topical Guide is "Marriage, Continuing Courtship In." We believe that marriages need to be nurtured in order to remain strong. Once we're married, we continue to date, to show love and affection for each other, and to "court" each other. Eric and I do our best not to take each other for granted. We go on dates and getaways as much as we can (which hasn't been as often as we would like this past year), we flirt with each other, we speak kindly to one another, and we try to make the other person happy.


Matt. 7: 12 sums it up very well: "whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye. "

I love the sentiments in these scriptures, as well:

(Col. 3: 19) Husbands, love your wives. 1 Pet. 3: 7 giving honour unto the wife. Jacob 3: 7 their husbands love their wives. D&C 25: 14 Let thy soul delight in thy husband. D&C 42: 22 Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart. D&C 42: 45 Thou shalt live together in love.

The one I want to focus on this morning is "Let thy soul delight in thy husband." In the world today, is it typical for wives to say, "My soul delights in my huband!"? That's not what I see. On TV shows, husbands and wives are usually being sarcastic with each other, fighting, or simply tolerating one another. VERY few movies or TV series feature happy, functional marriages. It's also very common to hear wives complain about or degrade their husbands in front of other people.

Instead, you see married women fawning over Edward and Jacob, Hollywood stars, Heroes from Romance Novels, etc.

Ethan (age 6) just came over and sat by me, and I showed him the scriptures I was reading. I told him about how husbands and wives need to love each other, and I told him that some married couples aren't nice to each other. He looked totally shocked. Then we talked about things he could do to be a good husband and things his wife could do to be a good wife. He wants her to buy some Playmobil sets so they can play together. He said he would make angel food cake for her, and maybe she would buy him candy. So, so cute.

The family needs me, so I'll close with this scripture:

D&C 130: 2 And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.

We can't think that we can be unkind to our families here on earth and then have a great, strong marriage in heaven. We need to create eternal families now. That's so hard to do (especially on days when you didn't get enough sleep the night before, and you're feeling grumpy...uh hem...).