Things as They Really Are

My husband forwarded me this article from CNN about people feeling depressed after seeing the movie Avatar. Here are a couple of quotations:

"That's all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about Avatar. I guess that helps. It's so hard I can't force myself to think that it's just a movie, and to get over it."

"Ever since I went to see Avatar I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film...I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it, I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora..."

It's not as though the audience didn't love the movie...its just that they didn't want to leave. According to the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) held last week in Las Vegas, the new push is for everything to be 3-D, so it feels more and more real to the viewer. I'm guessing once people can create a very realistic world within their own homes, they'll spend all day just plugged in, pretending they're somewhere else. What kinds of marriages and families will result from THAT?

Interestingly enough, the therapy for this is to create real relationships in THIS world, so you won't feel compelled to live in a non-existent one.

I was speaking about this problem with my children and said, "It's like you saying you want to live your whole life in Build-a-Bearville."

Ethan got a very distressed look on his face and said, "But that IS how I feel! The animals are so cute! I want to live there!"

So...we had a long, long talk (and I'm limiting our computer time to about 15 minutes a day).

Our talk centered around Elder David A. Bednar's CES Fireside "Things as They Really Are."

This is an excellent, excellent talk. He teaches that one way the adversary tries to get us to misuse our bodies is simply not to use them--to get so consumed with a virtual world that we ignore real relationships (loving our spouses, children, friends, etc.).

These images from his talk have impressed me so much--I included them below.

The top one is a computer-generated rendering of a sealing room in the Newport Beach Temple. The bottom one is an actual photo. Amazing, right?

This image above is a computer-generated rendering of the foyer of the Copenhagen, Denmark Temple. Below is an actual photo.

It's almost frightening how similar they can look. I mean, it's great that they can really know how the temple will look before it is actually built, but it's shocking that the two images can be almost identical. Even uploading these to Blogger, I had to be careful not to get them confused. The only difference I could find in the foyer images was the reflection of the lamp light on the wall. In the real photos, it's a "v-shape" and in the rendering, it's more of an oval.

I'm speaking at BYU Women's Conference this April about avoiding emotional infidelity, and I think I'm going to include some of these ideas in my presentation.

As wives, it's easy to get sidetracked by the unrealistic idea of the "perfect" husband. We see movies like Twilight and wonder why our husband can't be Edward. Why does OUR man have to eat, sleep, use the restroom, and spend time on hobbies?

We might see a Facebook profile of someone we used to date and imagine that he is never grumpy or impatient.

Or we could just go ga-ga over the stars featured in the magazines, TV shows, and YouTube videos, and imagine that there is this better world waiting for us out there.

Well, the best world is RIGHT HERE. In our homes. These other images and ideas proliferated by the media simply don't exist. It is pretend. It is imagined. These pretend husbands won't earn an income for you, won't take your children to the park, won't stand by you while you're hormonal or grumpy, and won't be with you through the thick and thin of it all. The secret is to learn how to see the beauty and love and romance that's right within your home, and then do everything you can to capitalize on it--to support it--enrich it--magnify it--appreciate it--and create it.

We need to be able to see things as they really are.

Jacob 4: 13 Behold, my brethren, he that prophesieth, let him prophesy to the understanding of men; for the ^aSpirit speaketh the ^btruth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things asthey really ^care, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us ^dplainly, for the salvation of our souls. But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things; for God also ^espake them unto prophets of old.

I have lots of specific ideas for how to do this with your own marriage (like listening to your favorite love songs right before your husband gets home from work or creating a collection of photos/memories of your most romantic times together and focusing on that when you're in the middle of a busy week). I'll keep brainstorming/compiling these ideas, but to close this post, I want to emphasize two questions Elder Bednar asked about technology in our lives.

1. Does the use of various technologies and media invite or impede the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in your life?

2. Does the time you spend using various technologies and media enlarge or restrict your capacity to live, to love, and to serve in meaningful ways?

I love technology--there are great opportunities to blog, to publish ideas, to connect with friends, to encourage others, and to make a difference in the world when you aren't able to leave your home very often. However, our time online needs to invite the Holy Ghost to be with us. It needs to give us a greater capacity to fulfill our personal mission, and it needs to enable us to be strong, loyal, loving members of our family. That's my goal.